Things we getting pretty chaotic with John and Carol. He had the money from the sale of the house and the shop so he was solvent again for the time being.
At present, there was no desperate struggle to get money or to do a job to get money.
So instead of actually doing something constructive, he went out of his way to make Carol’s life a misery.
He would be driving past Parkfield road and see her car was there and pull in and shout all kinds of abuse for about twenty minutes each time.
Now clearly my mother is a tough girl to forget but how fucking deluded must he have been?
Granted he was an addict and his mind was completely fucked from that poison but how can you blame someone for everything wrong in your life?
I understand she took me away but she never lied to him and never hid from him.
In her letters to him in prison she was upfront and honest she wasn’t calling him every arsehole under the sun.
He was like many addicts he just couldn’t accept responsibility for anything. Also with his broken programming from his fucked up childhood it just would not register that he had played any part in this whatsoever.
So at least 4 times a week this would happen.
She would ignore him best she could but how draining must that be and how scary someone shouting that stuff up at you constantly.
I don’t know how John did it he had got a new girlfriend and managed to convince her to move in with him and convince her how evil Carol was in all this time.
Then would disappear each day to come and shout up at the window it was like a fucked up version of Romeo and Juliet.
Having said that he could be extremely charming and there was part of the real John Bailey left in there but we very seldom saw this.
For many years me and him didn’t speak for various reasons which I regret now but emotions ran high at the time.
I was also right to fall put with him but time does not work like that and we learn the hard way that tomorrow is promised to nobody.
When people have heard these tales and various others they couldn’t believe it as he was such a charming motherfucker especially when he needed something.
He was known for years as the hero of Skem and he raised a load of money to take this kid who was dying to watch a Liverpool match.
Now that’s really commendable and I can’t take that away from him but not once did we ever go to the match.
It would not even occur to him to take me.
Don’t get me wrong we did things over the years but they were few and far between its like he forgot who I was and once in a while he would appear then disappear like a ninja again.
Back to the story once in a while the police would come out and move him on from the apartment but on the whole, they were not interested.
He had not committed any crime and even with his vast criminal record and a single mother telling them about threats to kill they would quickly say oh well it’s your word against his so we can’t do anything.
Sometimes the police wouldn’t even come out and would make it quite clear over the phone.
The operator would say in a condescending voice don’t worry when we have dealt with all of the other crimes in the city we will send the police out again.
There are a lot more safeguards in place now and they would make the front page in the modern day but how many people had to die before this was taken seriously?
The worrying thing is that more than half of the women who are killed in the UK are killed by a current or former partner.
This has risen every year since the 80s and it does not seem to be getting better.
Even with the safeguards in place, social services are understaffed and underfunded.
The messed-up thing is that being a social worker is an extremely stressful job even when they are fully staffed so with people leaving all the time and people off sick they are a lot of burnout in this profession see the below link.
When people are burnt out they make mistakes and then they stop being so effective. This leaks into all areas and that’s when mistakes are made which can be fatal. A prime example of this is the baby p case which is explained below in the link.
So even in modern times, a social worker’s hands can be tied but back then many of the new laws didn’t exist so unfortunately all of this was possible.
Now suddenly one week all of the abuse stopped and John rang up Carol very apologetic about his behavior.
Now in hindsight, Carol should have seen this as a huge red flag but she didn’t.
He came and picked me up this one day and when I was due to go home it was back to the usual he’s staying here he doesn’t want to go home.
Yet again Carol was forced to call the police.
The police came but unknown to Carol my dad had been to the family court in the passing weeks and got a lot of official documentation.
So when the police arrived John was ready for this and the upshot of it all was he was within his right to do this.
If then John refused Carol access she would have to fight this in the family court. The fucked up thing was John wasn’t interested in doing the right thing.
I’m being kind in my assessment here but as a part-time dad, he was above average at best.
So this continued for another week and anytime she called John and tried to reason with him she would be told to go fuck herself or words to that effect with usually a load of screaming down the phone.
The whole time I was being poisoned against Carol and being told what a cunt she was and how she didn’t love me and how she ruined everything. As a kid if your hearing this from a parent you believe it without question because why would you dad lie to you?
After a week Carol went to get some legal advice to see what steps she could take to bring me home. She went to a solicitor called Graham Simpson who went above and beyond the call for her.
He explained her rights and the process she had to go through and how they could make everything right.
He also told her to start logging everything such as phone calls, times, threats, what was being said, and anything else of importance.
He also said which was the hardest for Carol to take if John offers to give Arlo back you must initially say no.
Carol couldn’t understand why not and Graham explained.
If he gives Arlo back before we have everything in play there is nothing legally stopping John from doing this again in the future.
Carol was forced to play the long game and life went on for her.
The flat was like a ghost town without me there and more so now because this was the summer holidays.
The time I spent at my dad’s was strange. I was left with his new girlfriend most of the time while he went out wheeling and dealing or whatever he was doing to bring in money.
I would spend most of the day with her and at night we would all watch TV together while John fell asleep in front of the TV fucked up as always on gear.
Then school started and John had not taken me back as he thought school was for losers in his mind.
In his mind, he probably had visions of me going out robbing with him or us selling drugs together.
What a positive future he had planned for me I feel I missed the boat on this wow.
Mum got all kinds of reports that I had been seen outside numerous pubs on Lark Lane with John late most nights.
He had been shitfaced drunk either with his mates who were all in the same game or with his girlfriend.
Not one of those friends or his girlfriend thought to mention hey why isn’t your son in school?
It didn’t get any airtime nor did anyone give this a second thought.
Carol reported this to Graham who insisted that she should hang on a little longer to make sure we had what we needed.
Writing this brings back a lot of memories and that’s ok because I have made peace with this part of my life and luckily I had the tools to rebuild myself.
Many people don’t and you see these children every day. You will see them playing in the street at 11 pm or swearing at old people and intimidating others in gangs outside shops.
This is not the kid’s fault they have had no guidance and a lot of the time nobody cares so they are left to their own devices and the cycle continues. Bad parenting can have such a negative impact and in the link below I’ve had issues with half of the points listed in the link below.
What’s heartbreaking more than ever to me is so many of these kids never had a chance.
Then one night John took things to the next level he was drunk on the lane and for some reason, none of his friends were there. He was getting more drunk and twisted and decided he was going to visit Carol.
So with me in tow, he walked from the lane to Parkfield road.
He managed to open the man door into the building and got himself upstairs to the flat.
He starts hammering on the door with me watching screaming and shouting. As you can imagine Carol is inside terrified so as well as doing all this in front of me John keeps making a point of telling me that she doesn’t want to know you that’s why she won’t come out.
After about twenty minutes of this, he started booting the door and someone shouted through the letterbox I’ve called the police so you better leave.
Right then John comes to his senses and we leave quickly.
I don’t know what must have been going on in my head but any kid knows this isn’t normal and in my mind, I knew someone was lying to me.
It took years of self-discovery and repeated behavior before I realized how damaging all this was but luckily I came through it.
It baffles me how people can justify this behavior because it happened to them.
I have had my issues with addiction but I could not imagine if I’m ever lucky enough to have kids to do coke with them.
So what the fuck was going on in his mind wanting to introduce me to that world?
In his solitary moments, he knew he had fucked everything up but to do this to your kid all to fuck with you ex is just evil.
Having said that Peter Sutcliffe justified killing 13 women to himself. So who knows what goes on in people’s minds?
Carol got straight on the phone to Graham Simpson who was delighted because now he had everything he needed to get me back and John couldn’t stop it.
Now Graham could go to the court with the fact my life was in danger, I have been exposed to potential violence, logged phone calls, threats to kill, the police logs from when he had done this before and the golden nugget that I had not been back to school when the term had started 2 weeks previously.
It didn’t help John that he had an extensive criminal record and was a registered Heroin addict.
It must have been really hard for Carol but Graham knew what he was doing.
Graham got the court order and went and rang John Baileys doorbell
Who is it?
My name is Graham Simpson I am an officer of the court.
What the fuck do you want?
I want you to open the door and talk to me otherwise ill come back with the police.
John came downstairs on the bounce and was ready for a fight.
It was no secret that John could scrap and today he was ready for it.
Graham stood his ground and did not back down an inch
Do your worst Mr. Bailey its one thing bullying a young woman but that’s not the case now is it?
John was pacing winding himself up getting ready to beat the fuck out of Graham and Graham didn’t budge.
That’s, not the fight I came for Mr. Bailey but I’m certainly not scared of you.
However, I would think long and hard before you act here because if you put hands on an officer of the court who has come here with a court order from a judge then you will be going on a very long holiday.
John was suddenly deflated what could he do he knew this was a fight he could not win.
he suddenly deflated and shrunk about 2 feet.
Then John tried another tactic to get under Graham’s skin he started insulting him and making accusations.
Well, you must be fucking her then yeah?
Like I said Mr. Bailey be very careful because if I feel your slandering my name you will be before the courts.
You should also know the police are on the way just in case you decide not to comply.
I’ll be back in an hour and you want to be ready then otherwise you’re in big trouble.
John stormed off upstairs to come to get me as he knew he couldn’t do a thing to Graham and he was raging about it.
He was also raging that he had no leverage and that Carol had stood up to him so he went upstairs and packed my clothes.
An hour later Graham came back and it was just starting to go dark with a police car following him just in case.
I came out and John had regained his strength and spent the next few minutes screaming at me that everything my mum said was a lie and that she caused all this.
I didn’t speak for about 24 hours. We got back to Parkfield road and I went to my bedroom and started playing with my He-man figures trying to make sense out of what had happened.
In a strange turn of events, my mum and Graham began dating.
They were together for about a year but it just ran its course. He was always really nice to me as a kid and I remember he was a real workaholic. He loved the law and loved to be involved.
He’s still practicing law in Wigan but has taken a big step back from it all and is not full time anymore.
In a stranger turn of events, he by accident found me on a mutual friend Facebook and made contact with me about 8 weeks ago. We had a good chat and it was great to catch up with him.
He also told me that he had been reading my blog and was enjoying it which made my day and just shows how it’s a small world.
I asked him why he hadn’t retired and he told me he still loves it and he would be bored stiff if he did.
He told me quite proudly that he had had his own firm in the past but that was too much stress and he’s managed to get himself a laid-back gig that suits him and allows him to keep his hand in.
I have a lot of time and respect for Graham he’s one of life’s good guys and I was so pleased that he made contact. Social media is such a powerful tool even though it has a lot of negative aspects to it but to hear that someone such as Graham who had hadn’t seen for thirty-plus years was reading my work blew me away.