Some of the stories may not make sense to you if you are not from Liverpool and just to complicate things further unless you have served in the military some of the words will sound alien.
To add realism to the stories I tell them as I would tell them to one of my friends in the pub or a social setting such as a party.
Liverpool like most cities has slang words for things and the military has a lot of words that are not used in the civilian world. So if reading a story and a word you don’t understand comes up then you can always refer to this page.
If any of you have read any books by Irvine Welsh (Trainspotting) his books are the same so unless you were born in Scotland or you have Scottish friends his books although genius can be a real struggle in parts.
Irvine Welsh if you’re reading this why not put in a glossary like me, it would make everything so much easier.
I will be adding to this when needed as there are so many slang words from both the city of Liverpool and the military.

AK47. Russian or Chinese automatic rifle that fires 7.62 caliber bullets

Bang on. When something looks overly suspicious. Example here is that money mate, Get in the car and give me it round the corner its fucking bang on here. Look at those to dickheads in that corsa, they are definitely plod there bang on to fuck

Bail. To fuck off quickly example lad lets fucking bail there’s plod everywhere

Beak. Cocaine

Beak head. A cocaine addict. Example swerve that Colin he’s a bad beak head.

Beak slut, beak slag. A girl who will get fucked for cocaine by one or multiple males usually at a party in a grotty flat in Anfield or Speke.

Bellend. Cock, dickhead this can be shortened to just bell. Example here comes that fucking bellend Tommy and that Nick he hangs out with is a fucking bell as well.

Beer tokens. Money

Bizzies. Police see plod

Big hotel. Prison example I haven’t seen Paul for ages. He’s in the big hotel lad

Birds, Bird. can be your girlfriend or another example lets to town lad the suns out it will be full of birds.
Bird can also describe a prison sentence wow he’s done some serious bird which is like saying he has spent a lot of time in prison.

Bird her up. When you’ve been seeing a girl for a little while and it’s going well so she becomes your girlfriend and you bird her up. If someone is doing bird that means jail.

Biff chit. An army sick note it should be a sick chit but lads will take the piss saying your blagging so biff chit is a friendly insult.

Bladed up. Refers to a group of shitbags who go to town carrying knives as they can’t fight

Blag. Fake this can be used in two ways example look at that soft cunt with his blag Armani top. Another way is listen to that twat from Birkenhead, with his blag scouse accent.

Blagging his head. Trying to wind someone up with bullshit

Blue oyster bar. The gay bar in the police academy movies. Example mate, there’s fucking no birds in here, lets bail it’s like the fucking blue oyster bar.

Bobby. Heroin ie Bobby Brown. Example look at the state of that cunt he’s defo been on the bobby

Bone. Stupid, a pointless task. For example, the new platoon commander is a fucking prick he’s had me doing bone jobs all day.

Boss. Good

Bottle Rats/ Booth Slags. Girls who go to nightclubs with about 4 quid each and a lot of the time have the same outfit on every week. They come to the club on the hunt for their dream man which in their eyes is a drug dealer. They worm their way into the booths for free Grey Goose and sometimes even get fingered in the nightclub. This can lead to much more.

Box head. A German person as they allegedly have square heads. This would not be said to them only about them.

Brass. A prostitute either a streetwalker or high-class escort.

Brown. Heroin

Buckshee. Meaning spare example shit I lost my rifle sling. Its ok mate I have a buckshee one you can have. Also can mean easy example I had a proper buckshee day.

Butty. Sandwich

Charlie. Cocaine

Chatting shit. Talking bollocks.

Chatting bubbles. See above.

Chippy. In the civilian world a carpenter or a fish and chip shop. In the military someone who isn’t in the household division or a group of soldiers in shit order. Example look at the fucking state of those chippy cunts over on the range. There’s kitt everywhere.

Chinese fire drill. Everyone flapping running around like headless chickens and everything fucking up as a result.

Chocca. Fed up, stressed out, under pressure.

Chogey. When stationed overseas and some of the locals get a job in your camp they are chogeys. In Iraq, it means the same thing but called hajis.

Cookhouse. British army canteen where all meals are served when not on exercise.

Club necking. People who french kiss in front of everyone in a nightclub continuously.

Cock Block. Horrible snake behavior when you stop a mate from going further with a girl for your gain or just to be a cunt.

Cock fest. A severe lack of females in a bar or place.

Contractor. See PMC but basically, someone who is working as a civilian but in a military capacity.
This can mean a person who fixes air conditioning in a war zone to the security teams who operate outside the wire.
In past days these security contractors would be labeled mercenaries but now if they work for the USA or the UK they are labeled contractors.

Curly head. Scouse rats who grow their hair long and sometimes with a perm see ketwig

Dabs. Fingerprints

DEFAC. Dining facility set up for American soldiers see cookhouse

Desert queen. A girl in the army who is at best a 4/10 as she is on deployment somewhere like Afghanistan or Iraq she gets way more male attention due to the lack of females.

Desert rose see above

Dick buffet. When on deployment in places like Iraq and there is a severe lack of females see cock fest

Dog. Someone who is a rat as in someone who would rip you off or stab you in the back. This can also be used to describe an ugly woman.

Dogged. To be fucked over example Hang on a minute you little snake you have just properly dogged me out of money there.

Dinner. Lunch

Dobie. Washing,

Dobie dust. Soap powder to wash your clothes

Divvy. Stupid person

Egyptian PT. To go to sleep

Fobbit. Someone on combat deployment who never leaves the forward operating base such as logistics, chefs. Just like hobbits, they are usually fat.

FUBAR. Fucked up beyond all recognition.

Fuck. This can mean numerous things. Firstly to have sex for example yeah I fuked that girl last night. To lose badly in a fight for example wow I just watched the boxing and Tyson properly fucked him up. To get fucked over which is self explanatory

File 13. The bin Example I want to do a snipers course, sir. Of course, I’ll put that in file 13 (your application)

Filled in. To get filled in is to take a serious beating. This can be one on one or if a group of people jump you. Example I got drunk last night was talking shit and got filled in

Freckles. A drinking game played by drunk squaddies involving human shit. This has also been called splat but is the same game.
A person comes back from the toilets in a bar with a shit usually in a pint glass. The shit is laid on the bar and everyone gets their faces as close to the shit as possible. One person smacks down on the shit and whoever has the least freckles will buy the next round of beer.

Gang-fuck. Where everything goes wrong due to some fuckwit not planning things properly or life just being extremely challenging.

Goat fuck. See above

Gary, Gary Ablett, Gary’s. Ecstasy

Gegging in. To join in on something you’re not invited.

Gen, Gen up, genuine, no bullshit, being serious

Glasshouse. Military prison

Gobshite. A five-star dickhead who is thick as fuck.

Golly. Spit Example that dirty bastard gollied in my face then ran off

Gonk bag. Sleeping bag

Gone dark. To do an op or something in the civilian world where you make yourself uncontactable. To go fully dark all ID, credit cards, phones are left behind. FOR example, I need to contact David it’s an emergency. I can’t get hold of him he’s gone dark he won’t check-in for at least 24 hours.

Graft. To graft as in to sell drugs as in bobby or beak. It can also refer to a drugs round that a grafter will have. For example, there goes Peter he sells the bobby, he’s got a boss little beak graft as well.

Grafter. The person who sells the said drugs.

Grandslam. To Piss, shit, and vomit in your bed. All three together is a grand slam. To piss the bed you have just slammed the bed. Shit, the bed is still shit the bed. This usually happens when seriously intoxicated.

Grass. Police informer

Green. Weed

H. Heroin

Hadji. Derogatory name for an Iraqi

Head. Someone who is in charge or someone who is not to be messed with who is usually a criminal or a known hard man. This can also be someone who has a lot of back up in a gang or a well known criminal family.
For example, you don’t want to get into it with him if you can avoid it. He’s a proper head in this area

Heavy Jug. A severe prison sentence. For Example, Sean Mercer is doing some seriously heavy jug over Rhys Jones.

Honking. Disgusting, ugly nasty Example Have you seen Daves missus? Yeah, mate shes a honking bit of kitt.

Hot lunch. To defecate into someone’s mouth or they defecate into your mouth for sexual gratification.

Jack. This means Selfish example that Pete is a fucking Jack cunt. This can also be slang for a policeman which is said by prostitutes.

Jacket filler. A shit bouncer put on your team as you are short on manpower and have to make up the numbers so you can have the minimum amount of staff to open legally.

Jarg. Fake see blag

Jug. Prison Example Have you seen Paul? He’s in jug mate.

Ken. Where you live Example have you seen pauls Ken mate? It’s boss

Kitt. Personal weapon and equipment that a soldier carry’s on deployment or exercise.

Kite. Your face. Example Look at the mad kite on jeff

Ket. Horse tranquilizer Ketamine

Ket wig. Someone usually a grafter who hasn’t had a haircut for months and has grown a disgusting mass of hair. The name comes from the idea of money saved from haircuts can be spent Wisely on Ketamine. This originates from when people went on the run from the police and they would grow their hair long to help avoid detection.

La (pronounced laaaa). Short for lad.

Leg it. Fuck off, go away Example fucking leg it you little scruff. Usually said jokingly between friends if in an aggressive setting this step would be missed and something universal like fuck off would be said.

Lappy. A lapdancer ie a stripper

Lemo. Cocaine

Made up. To be very happy about something.

Manc. A person from Manchester

Midnight, midnight mass. Slang and rhyme for a grass ie a police informer

Minging. Dirty or disgusting. Can also be used in the context of being drunk, I was minging last night. Another example could be that minging cunt just bit into a dead bird.

Monging it. To put in the absolute minimum effort usually when you’re cold, wet, and hungry.

Muppet. A dickhead

Naffi (Navy Army Airforce Institute) A shop on the camp which was bought out by spar years ago selling everything a soldier needs. Usually more expensive but the lads can’t be arsed going elsewhere.

Naffi bar. Self-explanatory at any given time there’s usually 100 blokes and a jukebox. Someone will usually get naked if not everyone. Horrible games are played here using such props as urine and human shit on occasion.

Neck. To kiss example he’s been necking that bird for about ten minutes

N-bomb. A slang word for the derogatory word that you should never say to black people. Example Shit it was awkward before Tyrone and Phils, argument got pretty heated then Phil dropped the N-bomb.

On top. See bang on. Example how the fuck has Jeff not been nicked grafting he’s proper on top in that big yellow range rover. To stand out for all the wrong reasons.

On it. That car has been following us for miles don’t worry I’m on it ie on to him.

On stag. Guard duty in the army when assigned to a post such as the front gate.

Paws. Fingerprints

Prag. Slang for prison fag. This originates from the states where someone exchanges sexual favors for protection from an individual or a gang.

PT, PTI. Physical training, physical training instructor in the army.

Pig. Horrible ugly chick you wake up next to usually fat. An example was that bird nice that you banged last night lad? Nah she was a fucking pig mate.

Pig board. A notice board in a platoon barracks with pictures sometimes nudes of disgusting birds the lads have banged in a group. Other items can be attached to the board such as a fat girl’s underwear with skid marks.

Pitt. Your bed

Plazy. Plastic

Plazy Scouser. Someone usually from the Wirral or Skelmersdale you meet on holiday who has the thickest scouse accent you have ever heard yet they are not from Liverpool.

Plod. Police

PMC. Private military company
In the past would be decried as mercenary work and still is if you work in places like Africa. If you work for the UK or the USA you are now called a contractor.

Punter. Someone who buys Heroin or crack ie a rock head or someone who is a scruffy cunt and looks like a punter.

Rat. Horrible cunt who thinks he’s Tony Montana cos he grafts lemo. Usually goes out carrying a blade and firmed up with other rats. When not fighting likes to brag about his bobby graft and how much jug he has done.

Red arse. A new boy to the battalion who has just passed basic training usually buys a lot of beer until the lads see he’s a good bloke.

REMF. Rear echelon mother fuckers see fobbit

Ring Dobie. To have your arse cheeks speed apart and licked vigorously.

Rocks, Rock. Crack cocaine

Rock head. Someone addicted to crack cocaine usually with about 6 teeth

Sack it. Don’t do that or stop doing that

Scouse. The accent is spoken by people from Liverpool. Also is the name of a dish with a mixture of meat, vegetables, and potatoes mixed into a stew.

Scouser. Someone from Liverpool

Scran. Food

Slam the bed. To piss the bed usually when drunk

Snake pig. A fat girl who goes out dressed in extremely tight clothing which in turn has an appearance of a snake digesting a pig with the head still visible.

Soz. Sorry

Spit-roast. To double team a bird with your mate

Swamp donkey. See pig

Swerve it. Don’t do that or stop doing that.

Squaddie. Soldier

Smack head. A heroin addict

Skag head. See above

Swerve it. To not do something as it will be a huge effort. To swerve someone is to go out of your way to avoid them. For example, did you see Wayne? No lad I swerved him he chats pure shit.

Tea. Evening meal

Tom Pepper. A bullshitter usually has to one-up everything you say. For example, if you have been to Tenerife he’s been to twelveareef.

Trabs. Trainers

USACE United Staes Army core of engineers
Responsible for most of the reconstruction of Iraq after the war who had projects all over the country.

Wanking chariot. Your bed

Whopper. Dickhead

Wool, woolyback. Someone who isn’t from Liverpool but one of the surrounding areas such as Widnes, St Helens, Runcorn.

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